Paul tackles rape-rape and its much lesser cousin: Rape.

July 14, 2010

Given recently developments on this Roman Polanski ‘thing’, I think it’s time I resurrected this rather angry 700 (ish) words that I wrote a half year back but never put up. At the time, I felt it was a bit,… uh ‘rapey’, but now that he’s free from the horrible, disgusting confines of his Swiss Chalet house-arrest, I think we need a little discussion (read: rant) on how as long as you’re famous, child abuse is aaaaaalllllright. To be honest, it’s more a rant against the star of films like Jumpin’ Jack Flash then anything else.

Warning: Sarcasm abounds.

Whoopi Goldberg on The View: “I know it wasn’t rape-rape. It was something else but I don’t believe it was rape-rape. He went to jail and and when they let him out he was like “You know what this guy’s going to give me a hundred years in jail I’m not staying, so that’s why he left.”

Whoopi, Whoopi, Whoopi. Rape-rape? Honestly, rape-rape? Wouldn’t it of been easier just to walk away? Just walk away and leave us with our Neanderthal views of not separating rape and getting a 13 year old drugged and drunk and then having sex with her?

Jumpin Jack Flash

Obviously, that was just a mild raping. Much like a mild decapitation, a mild elephant infestation or mild Jason Byrne. To throw this rape into the pot with, I dunno, rape, would be doing the crime of rape an injustice.

But, you know, I trust Hollywood. Those people are clearly better thinkers then us, the movers and shakers of the world that get transmitted to our screens by lasers and pixies and stuff. So I guess we should believe them. After all, this is pretty much exactly like the plot of How Stella Got Her Groove back, isn’t it? And that sure worked out for the best.

So, Rape-rape isn’t just rape I suppose. Rape-rape must be like, giving the child Corn Flakes beforehand, in the full, premeditated evil mind that the kid doesn’t like Corn Flakes. And then, BAM. Rape-rape.

So, to clear up a few matters first before we go into details (the horrible, disgusting rape-rape details, with some happy-go-lucky rape details thrown in). Since the Hollywood elite (those crazy geniuses) feel that Polanksi should not go to jail for a rape (of a minor) 32 years ago, we define rape-rape as something like, you rape someone, then steal their pants or perhaps, you sit down to watch Xposé, and then follow that heinous act with a little bit of rape.

That is, you rape someone, then you do something that warrants jail time.

And so rape must be, something like, I dunno. Something like rape-rape, but less, rapey? At what point is rape not rapey? Does the fact that some of the rape happened in a jacuzzi take off some the rape-edge? That it was champagne he gave her, and not a crate of Dutch Gold?
I dunno, still sounds pretty rapey to me.

But then, what kind of punishment does rape entail when we compare it to rape-rape?
What punishment could be doled out? If even a punishment should exist? After all, considering what rape-rape is, and Whoopi (and friends) believe he shouldn’t go to jail, then I suppose we should take other offences into account. Some sort of list where we can see what gets jail time (rape-rape) and what doesn’t (rape). For example, we could take into account that stealing a handbag can get you jail time, so, therefore, this particular raping of a 13 year old is not as bad as stealing a handbag.  Or, closer to the point, if, after raping, he forced her to cuddle after wards –that could be seen a kidnapping, a death sentence in some states, but leave her on her merry way and we may move to France, conscience clear that only a little bit of rape was committed. Much like that time you didn’t cut the grass when you said you would, or when you clicked ‘yes please, porn me up Mr. Internet’ when you were only 17.

I refuse to believe that Hollywood and the world in general is being lenient because he made a few good movies. Cos that would mean I could never watch another movie again.

But anyway, it’s all alright. Because later, Whoopi clarified the matter, saying she wanted to “make it clear that she was talking about the legal charge against Polanski at the time.”

Yup. Clear as a filthy jacuzzi.

Next Week: Paul says the word ‘rape’ 20 times in something he wrote in the early 90s.