‘The Future’ is here.

January 2, 2010

I’m not gonna bitch about how bad that decade was. I’m 22, and had more fun in the last 10 years then I did in the 10 before that. No Saved by the Bell, no Haddaway, no crushing disappointments of looking in the mirror when I was 12 to see undefinable hair and a septic forehead.

But it’s 2010 now, pretty much officially ‘The Future’, and most shit still remains mostly shit. Judgement Day has come and gone and shells haven’t even replaced toilet paper yet. I can’t believe we are still mostly subsisting on a 2 ply system of anal hygiene. Wesley Snipes has only committed some minor tax crimes: boring.
People are still killing and maiming, and locking the odd child or two in their basements. We should be past all this, surely?

Surely not. We’re humans. It’s what we do. We still have a problem where people kill elephants so they can have fancy chessboards. For God’s sake, we’re STILL playing chess with chessboards. Our expectations must of been too high.

So, I give to you a simple goal for 2020. Still Sci-fi, still awesome, but completely attainable:

Johnny Cabs.

Automated taxis. That’s all I ask. We have robots. We have sat-navs. 10 years is more then enough time to meld the two together into a people ferrying goop.

Johnny Cab

And no more pretending to care about their day.