Raped. Ravaged. Given the slippery finger in the dark. Bent over and inspected. An unrequested sexual examination. An attack upon our persons. A dwarf having sex with anyone. Cunted. A dog humping your bare leg. An unwanted carrot in the ass. A wanted carrot in the ass. A carrot thrown to anyone who has a large distaste for carrots.
A spider in your mouth. A spider in your pants. A millipede up your nose. Hair in your bumhole. Punch in the face. Poke in the retina. Being felt up by your granddad. Three weeks in the bog. Bertie Ahern. A hot shit after a night on the beer. A hot shit after 2 nights on the beer. A hot shit after a week on the beer and subsisting solely on curries.
Waking up and finding Paul McShane in your bed. Airport security looking for drugs. Dropping the soap. Sucking cock for smack. Smack in the cock. Waking up with a shaven eyebrow. Wax in the ass. Wax on the ass. Wax on the front side of your ass. My ass. Your ass. Our ass.
Listening to Enya. Entering a room, forgetting why you entered so you leave, remembering again so you go back then, and then being raped. A paper-cut between your finger. A paper-cut between your eyelids.
Celebrity Love Island. Kilkenny winning again. Kerry winning again. Exposé.
The Hand of Back. The Hand of God. And now The Hand of that Bastarding Shit.